trump

I have a special relationship with my trumps.  Well, my arse does.

 

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mouse

I saw I mouse.  I’d heard a family rumour we had mice and I wondered and waited at what that actually meant.  Then I saw him.  My first wild animal.  Moving like a mouse on wheels.  A clockwork mouse. Faster than normal.  Faster than me.  A petrol steam mouse.  A hairy bullet.  The dimensions of our yard were uncompromising.  Suddenly the finickity rodent found himself on the concrete prairie, exposed to the freezing micro gusts of Longsight.  Mammalian evolution was crystallised in that moment.  Mammal speed.  My heart started that day.  I tracked him, as if a cat but not with my primate binocular vision.  Locking on like a torpedo but then he was gone, leaving a trail of shit behind him.

intra view

Go to interview with bosa nova fusion freeform jazz synth booming in your ears. In a cafe. Panel orders flat white.  The oldest most boring coffee idea.  That’s what everyone used to get from the little chippy van at dickenson rd market in the 80s.  No.  it wasn’t cool then.

green tea while desperately clinging towards the sinking wood of wakefulness (oh yeah meditation, is that like mindfulness?), drowning in a teacup sea of google analytics which I don’t care about and last night’s rajasic curry which I do and cannot possibly be in my rectum.

I am tamasic, lethargic.  Hits, clients, staff bonding, a yoga teacher who was too stoned.  Get another one.  Longing to leave.  Longing to play in the leaves.  I was a leaf when you met me.

I was a thief locked away with the lovable petty criminals apart from the one who wanted to stab my neck with a pool cue or the one who was in for murder.  His mum probably loves him or did and I shudder to think of her and his probable current freedom and prospects or lack of.

These messages are too lazy to be called subliminal.  The planet’s most powerful creations are running sub-optimally, eating waste products.  Tapping, screening, screaming. Drinking bubbly, acidic, black syrup.  Boob lay.

I have awoken for a five sense door championship.  Constantly ignited, firing pistons on an ever ready, ever present battery of electrochemical potential blurring auras and burning chi.  Nothing can be destroyed.  I am nihilistic, narcissistic.  Wheetabix shit.  Staring at my own body looking for changes, I am still a man.  Look at my muscles.  Due to cycling and being thin and a low calorific intake.

Angry scallie screams wildly at middle class woman who keeps her composure and stares her down.  Are you OK?  She is.

Market street is dead and people are catching what it had.  X-factor crud control the cobbles.  Their voices wobble.  Desperation riddles them like digital AIDS.  Hearing aids allow old people, who know a thing or too about unexplained mutations and crystallised ginger, hear us.  Sometimes they switch them off for a bit of peace without ever really striving for it.  Yes, we know there was a war.  You didn’t stop it.

People march to the beach but it’s always to  someone else’s drum, not quite in time.  Everyone was leaving when you arrived. They got cold.  Their feelings changed.  No, I don’t want to go in the sea.  I’m getting cold.  It’s dark. It’s not the same as before.  We were happy then.

Time is wasted dipping into television.  The neon disaster.  Controlled plasma explosions.  Blues in the sky are an unexplained orange.  It’s the street lights.  It’s people’s houses.  None of them are orange.  Do you think you can trick me like I’m a child? Well you can.

converstation eel

conversations reel around, revolve I mean, like those annoying doors nobody needs or likes.  These confuse idiots.  We discuss politics.  The polite tricks of fiendish, selfish, parasitic humanoids.  Homo sexus.  Homo parasiticus.  Stare into peoples’ eyes, talking about the dumbing down of education or pollution or some other banal, self righteous slurry words.  Occasionally make eye contact with someone and see right into something real and then it’s gone.  A momentary sight of clarity.  It’s always a stranger but not always a girl.  That’s the truth and it walked away again.

Drone persons project their fake, saccharin mood on you like cheap wall paper paste that’s gone off and doesn’t work.  The paper slides down, involved in a council estate ritual and slowly degrades as pages of a wood chip book. Emotional residue remains and goes hard.  Spend the rest of the day picking it off like a scab.  Pray for rain.  Pray for scars so you have a story to tell yourself of another you can cover in paste.

Eels are not disgusting but your culture informs you otherwise.  It has a lot to answer for.  Get excited about your ability to grow a baby inside your body, then pay a teenager to look after it.  Your job makes you feel more important and useful.  You are not an identification.

I’m doing a studying for a moment in the future.  I’m revising for a moment in the future where I will be happy.  Right now I need to be unhappy.  I need to push myself further into nothing to get something later.  Then I will have it all and the little people will make me coffee and I will buy things and enjoy this brief happening of decadence.

I will eat things that make me feel sleepy and sick.

Ideas on how to trick people into clicking on a thing.  Don’t ever say hashtag to me.

convince

reconstructed duckweed
eyes that say fuck me
you need a degree
in chemistry
to understand
what Kraft have planned

happy meal
you are not happy
merely a serving suggestion
fatty meal
skip the lessons on sex education
lectured by nerve with bell-end-red complexion
backed up by priests
dressed in black sheets

waiting.
nothing happens
again nothing happened
watch shows that tell you what’s funny by playing recordings of laughing and clapping

cling to my mother
old man salmon macaque
lack confidence and interest
attack
everything

the radio plays the new rap poet
her voice sounds made up
the guts to stand up, ignoring the voice that says shut the fuck up
thought up in a fleeting meeting of executives with mac books and weird looks

the British bastard cunts
spread fear and loathing in tooting
apart from 6 music, it’s cool and soothing
it’s ok to go boozing,
not ok to go shooting