The Better News

I was born long ago in the 1980s.  A time of coal and lizards.  I was yellow when I was born and at school they called me radioactive: The joke was on them becasue in 2009 I worked with radioactive amino acids.   I was put into an oxgygen tent which sounds like a festival but is not.  It’s a tent for sick babies.

Then my sister was born and it was good.  Then my next sister was born and she was and is a small tigress.  Then my brother was born and he is wise like an owl.  My father was angry and sad and happy and made money while my mother made lasagne which my best friend devoured.

At primary school I was the best but then I moved to a special bully school and it was shit for two years until I met the soon to be named Shaolin Monkey Crew.  Big L, Little D, Liono, B-Lime and Feeling with my little brother and Pedro.

I took some acid and watched L’s face fall off.

I went to study Pharmacy and mixed dangerous chemicals together.

I smoked on a plane and went to jail.

I studied Biology and got a first.  I became defacto leader of the W Massive.

I fell in love twice and lust infinitely.

I did a PhD and went crazy.  I became friends with superdave.

I went to Asia.

I fell out of love and into Buddha.

I came home and cried.

I became God realised and Chrisitian.

The End.

Any Questions?

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cold toilet nostalgia

cold toilets and fruit detergents
nostalgia is emerging
mould on the curtains and the dryer’s not working
I pissed on the seat,
Nobody’s looking.
Someone was in here.
Fucking.
Spoon on the floor for cooking.
A foil johnny rapper,
Its contents elsewhere, imagine, disgusting.
People still make things that insist on rusting.
It drips down the urinal,
Into cakes that are crusting.
They soak up the odour and show you your fluids.
Thank God you’re drunk, think about druids.
Slip on the tiles, for miles to the exit.
Push into the bar and order the next hit.