The Better News

I was born long ago in the 1980s.  A time of coal and lizards.  I was yellow when I was born and at school they called me radioactive: The joke was on them becasue in 2009 I worked with radioactive amino acids.   I was put into an oxgygen tent which sounds like a festival but is not.  It’s a tent for sick babies.

Then my sister was born and it was good.  Then my next sister was born and she was and is a small tigress.  Then my brother was born and he is wise like an owl.  My father was angry and sad and happy and made money while my mother made lasagne which my best friend devoured.

At primary school I was the best but then I moved to a special bully school and it was shit for two years until I met the soon to be named Shaolin Monkey Crew.  Big L, Little D, Liono, B-Lime and Feeling with my little brother and Pedro.

I took some acid and watched L’s face fall off.

I went to study Pharmacy and mixed dangerous chemicals together.

I smoked on a plane and went to jail.

I studied Biology and got a first.  I became defacto leader of the W Massive.

I fell in love twice and lust infinitely.

I did a PhD and went crazy.  I became friends with superdave.

I went to Asia.

I fell out of love and into Buddha.

I came home and cried.

I became God realised and Chrisitian.

The End.

Any Questions?

it’s all over

it’s all over social media
it’s a cure I must feedyah.
it’s gone viral,
like a Fibonacci spiral
infecting every sense.
it penetrates the dense, the stupid.
we retweet and make it lucid

remember care bears?
that was caring.
you’re just clicking.
that’s not sharing.
the thing in your hand’s ensnaring
you, you fool

if someone breaks their phone,
they are no longer alone
people gather hear them moan
i broke my phone, my phone is broke
it’s wet, it’s broke.
is this some kind of joke?
you broke your phone?
sit down, I will help you fix your phone
and when I’m done leave you alone
listen carefully to me,
drink some tea,
what I say you won’t like
it’s not nice
put your phone in some rice
you are now without device
and your life is on ice
my phone is broke.
I know, iphone.