never smoke crack
me not just jack
never smoke rock
me never no jock
Dr Spock is so boring
rats steadily clawing
i live in the ocean
i cruise with potions
my 3rd eye is open and yours needs poking
me meet a fine girl and me cant conseal
she reads my mind like it just real
me rastafairan near vegetarian
no care in em x2
no love of the light
talking shite get off the mic
big 50 fuck the 50
mi6 mi5 dirty tricks
real slick kids
we all float up hear
keep it close
sheep like a shere
we know we heavier
spell on you, stick like glue
sick like shoes wrong feet confuse
lost it all in a night and i’m back on the grind
big bouncer smash my head into wall
where ther fuck me friend
in a corner
cocaine fresh, yoga best
i’m coming for the cake
like a slowworm snake
big bee make
no more bombs like the word in the song
reveal myelf and it be long
ryan ryan ryan big judda lion
lyin on my I’ll take your fucking teeth
hide them underneat as i show you my reach
the little gate keeper
we split up and i got cuts
I walked manchester for a month
and skulked in my graves, the little gate keeper
the seasons were steeper and creepers crept on my stones
i thought of bones and found busby
hostels, streets, ping pong animal
sleeping on broken glass and gravel
just when I thought I had it locked
homeless again unable to dock
and when they kicked me for nothing,
I knew I needed to stop bluffing
stop drinking and get help
so i melted in a cornerstone and felt the wealth
now I’m free and i miss my kin
we all sin, we can all grin and I feel her within
I must find you, 13 now and we start again
I was born long ago in the 1980s. A time of coal and lizards. I was yellow when I was born and at school they called me radioactive: The joke was on them becasue in 2009 I worked with radioactive amino acids. I was put into an oxgygen tent which sounds like a festival but is not. It’s a tent for sick babies.
Then my sister was born and it was good. Then my next sister was born and she was and is a small tigress. Then my brother was born and he is wise like an owl. My father was angry and sad and happy and made money while my mother made lasagne which my best friend devoured.
At primary school I was the best but then I moved to a special bully school and it was shit for two years until I met the soon to be named Shaolin Monkey Crew. Big L, Little D, Liono, B-Lime and Feeling with my little brother and Pedro.
I took some acid and watched L’s face fall off.
I went to study Pharmacy and mixed dangerous chemicals together.
I smoked on a plane and went to jail.
I studied Biology and got a first. I became defacto leader of the W Massive.
I fell in love twice and lust infinitely.
I did a PhD and went crazy. I became friends with superdave.
I went to Asia.
I fell out of love and into Buddha.
I came home and cried.
I became God realised and Chrisitian.
I’m vegan because I think using animals for food is wrong. I don’t care about all the thousands of animals that died when the jungle in Peru was cleared to grow my quinoa. They can fuck off.
I’m vegetarian because I don’t think animals should be killed for food. I think it’s OK for them to suffer and die to produce eggs and milk. That’s fine. I love cheese.
I’m following a yogic diet because I went to India and a cow farted on me and I spent 3 days in an ashram so I think I’m it.
I’m pescatarian. It’s not even a word and I don’t have any morals. There wasn’t a thing for me so I just made it up.
I’m following a paleo diet because it’s what cavemen ate so it must be good for you. Man hasn’t really made any worthwhile advancements since then.
I’m lactose intolerant because I wasn’t suckled for long enough because my mum wanted to go back to work.
I’m wheat intolerant and I drink beer. I could explode at any moment.
I’m following the Mediterranean diet because an advert told me to eat margarine made from reconstituted olive twigs and they were all old and Italian and happy.
I’m eating MacDonald’s every day and making a film about it. I wonder if I’ll make myself sick.
I eat nothing because I have an eating disorder. I want to be thin and I’m obsessed about my weight. I’ve not eaten for so long that my body thinks I’m a wolf and I’ve grown lots of little hairs. There is too much ketone in my body. I’m locked in a secure unit, force fed gloop and made to eat chocolate bars because that is normal.
I eat nothing because there is no food because the farmers in my country sold it all to your country.
it’s all over social media
it’s a cure I must feedyah.
it’s gone viral,
like a Fibonacci spiral
infecting every sense.
it penetrates the dense, the stupid.
we retweet and make it lucid
remember care bears?
that was caring.
you’re just clicking.
that’s not sharing.
the thing in your hand’s ensnaring
you, you fool
if someone breaks their phone,
they are no longer alone
people gather hear them moan
i broke my phone, my phone is broke
it’s wet, it’s broke.
is this some kind of joke?
you broke your phone?
sit down, I will help you fix your phone
and when I’m done leave you alone
listen carefully to me,
drink some tea,
what I say you won’t like
it’s not nice
put your phone in some rice
you are now without device
and your life is on ice
my phone is broke.
I know, iphone.
cheap chemicals, sprayed on cheap vegetables.
owners are despicable and people are dispensable
crimes are reprehensible and inconsequential
the people in charge are fucking mental
the trouble is,
Muslims troubling your beliefs.
they’re taking over.
they took your jobs,
their law is older,
they stone their lovers in the street
this is terror you can’t measure
this is an Islamic state
(so called mates)
and we can stop hate with hate
we can start hate with hate
marvel like we didn’t create
then finally stop all hate with hate
regurgitate the curry ate
The girl you kissed, the Pharmacist.
Well we all make mistakes.
It’s not too late.
hate hate hate.
was there something that we missed?
Let’s make Britain great again.
no shame in the flag
fuck off mate
you sound like my dad